So last week I had a conversation with a potential client. He told me wanted to grow his business, and he knew the way to do that was to become more visible.  Here are some of the issues he needed to say out loud before he could hit the go button.

The first issue – he wanted to do it but he felt that the friends in his circle would make fun of him for being ‘too out there’. Being on video can be scary, you’re putting yourself out there for people to criticize and judge you. He could hear them saying,  “Who does he think he is, making it all about him?” 

This isn’t the first time I’ve heard this. It comes up again and again. Even from personal messages, “did you see so and so, what are they doing? They’re so ‘look at me’?”

My response to that is why NOT them? Who are we to judge, and why not choose YOURSELF?

Let’s think about it for a second. No one is going to networking events anymore. Everything our businesses are has become 90% online. No one is able to put themselves out there in person. Facebook Lives, direct messaging, and Instagram stories are the lifeline of many small businesses now. 

Visibility is what I believe in, without caring about what people say.

When I was doing the Loudoun100 event, it was all about highlighting the hidden heroes. I got some people messaging me saying “Who are they? Why do they deserve this?” 

I said, “Why NOT them?” And I’ll keep saying it.

As kids, we were told, “Be quiet.” “Speak when spoken to.” “Wait until I call on you.”

“Wait until someone chooses you.” I feel this message is such a disservice.

As a small business owner, you HAVE to choose you. You had to say “I’m good enough to do this, to make it happen, even if I’m scared.”

Business is changing. Since the start of recent events, 29% of small businesses have been updating websites or social media profiles, and 25% increasing e-commerce. We’re now primarily relying on online platforms to get our messages out about what we do, who we are, and what makes us different from the rest of the crowd. We rely on these services to make connections so we have to be VISIBLE. 

So next time you see your colleague, friend, parent, putting themselves out there; instead of questioning them, congratulate them. 

I don’t care who you love, who you hate, who you follow whether it’s Oprah, Ellen, Trump, or Obama. But you see them all putting themselves out there. You see them doing big things because they chose themselves. They thought, “I’m choosing me. I don’t care if you don’t choose me, I do. So I’m going to show up and talk about the things I believe in.”

Some people won’t like you for it. That’s ok, they’re not for you. Those aren’t the people you’re trying to reach. 

But the first step is to choose you. 

A lot of people are afraid of being on video because they fear what others might think. They’re afraid of what someone might say or if someone will make fun of them. 

Right now, I’m doing a video series for small business owners who have seen success despite everything going on with our world. Most people have not. They’ve struggled. But there are people who have, and they deserve to feel proud. They should get to say, “Hey, I can do this. You can do it too. Here are some different tricks and mindset shifts, let me share them with you.”

I’ve had four different people reach out saying they want to do it but ask me questions from “I want this, but I don’t want to be too showy, what do I do?” to “Is this just salesy or promotional kind of content?”

This is about being a voice saying “I will choose myself, no matter what I pursue.”

Another common issue – the people that are telling you to tone it down because you put yourself out there too much are NOT your people. If they can’t be apart of what you’re doing in a healthy supportive manner, they have to go. You don’t need that in your circle. It doesn’t matter who they are. A parent, a friend, a coworker – whoever. I’m not saying you have to cut them out of your life immediately. Maybe you just have to not share that part of life with them anymore.  I’ve had to do it myself, I know it’s not easy. 

But I knew that type of relationship was going to pull me down. They can’t stay a part of what you’re doing because, through that constant negativity, you will start to doubt yourself. 

Just like when your parents said you couldn’t do something, or your friend didn’t believe in you or your ex-significant other told you weren’t good enough. You’ll start to believe in these lies that those negative people feed you. 

You don’t have people like that for a reason. Because to get to where you are today as a business, you probably had to make the journey without some of the people you started with. There are people who will be proud of you.  Keep THOSE people. 

That’s another thing – YOU should be proud of you. Don’t wait for someone to pat your back, clap for you, or tell you so. Look at the blood, sweat, and tears you put into your business and be more proud than anyone else.

I see people commenting on their so-called “friends” post, “Wow you must be really riled up to be posting this.” First off, OWN it. Say, “Yeah. I am. I’m passionate about what I want to share. Otherwise, why would I share it?” Second, that is not a real friend. 

That is the same as them saying, “What makes you think you’re good enough?”  By being petty or passive-aggressive or giving a backhanded compliment, they’re showing you how they really feel. A person like that is not someone you want to sit down with at the end of the day and express your excitement and gratitude for your journey with. 

Lastly, if people like Oprah or Obama can show up for their tribe and choose themselves, you can too. 

And the best way to do so is by owning your voice and be unapologetically comfortable in yourself. 

The way I show up for that is by choosing to empower other entrepreneurs to speak up, be visible, and give zero you-know-whats about when people ask, “Why you?”

So show up. Don’t be afraid to say what you want to say, get your voice out there, be proud of yourself, and leave the trolls behind. This is about choosing yourself and your business. Because if you don’t, who will? 

If you’re looking for more info on how to be confident in your photos and videos on social media, a great place for you to be is our free Facebook group. Here you’ll find not only advice on how to grow your business but also a community of like-minded business owners.